Some jokes from Demetri Martin.
I notice that there are no 'B' batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion. Because if there were, you wouldn't know when someone was stuttering.
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'Dude'? 'Dude, these are isotopes.'
About a month ago, I got a cactus, and a week later, it died. I got really depressed because I was like, damn, I am less nurturing than a desert.
I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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